Dear Customer Service,
I am thinking you must be concerned about my toe, the one that your soap broke ~ (https://wordswewomenwrite.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/i-love-crabtree-and-evelyn-except-when-i-dont-an-epistolary-tale-part-1/)
~even though I have yet to receive a reply to my last email. Or a followup to your marketing division meeting. (https://wordswewomenwrite.wordpress.com/2012/10/21/i-love-crabtree-and-evelyn-except-when-i-dont-an-epistolary-tale-part-2/)
Hey, we’re all busy.
But I do wonder, what would Lizzie say about that? She’s the great-great-granddaughter of the etiquette guru Emily Post, reigning trusted source for etiquette advice.
Lizzie likes to point out that the principles around problem solving, relationship building and treating people with respect are timeless.
I think she’d find your etiquette standards groanworthingly low.
But, anyway, about those other jillion bon ton emails I do receive from C&E ~ well, thanks. Yes, I do expect to have an exceptionally tasteful holiday. And savor the season. As your daily emails urge, I will replenish and refresh with joy, treat myself to luxurious waking and sleeping moments, indulge in a big way and infuse my living space with a refreshing essence.
I was hoping for more than kind of wonky babble. Something like, well, we’re sorry.
I won’t be ordering your holiday exclusives, Golden Fig and Golden Petals. Or the cozy socks. Not even the holiday tote bag. Platinum rewards? Dream on.